Love

How To Improve the Quality of Your Relationships – Lessons Learned from… Dogs.

A casual conversation with Matt Hogan, the Founder of MoveMe Quotes, on improving the quality of your relationships with lessons learned from… dogs.  Hope it inspires you to keep moving forward – the ONLY direction!

The More:

The post that inspired this video:  So, You Want the Perfect Relationship? Brace Yourself… Because Your Dog is About to School You.

More advice on relationships here: http://www.movemequotes.com/tag/relationships/

Comment:  Are you in a successful long-term relationship?  If so, what tips might you share with younger couples?

 

“The source of love is deep in us, and we can help others realize a lot of happiness.  One word, one action, or one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring him joy.  One word can give comfort and confidence, destroy doubt, help someone avoid a mistake, reconcile a conflict, or open the door to liberation.  One action can save a person’s life or help him take advantage of a rare opportunity.  One thought can do the same, because thoughts always lead to words and actions.  If love is in our heart, every thought, word, and deed can bring about a miracle.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

 

The ground of real love:

“We really have to understand the person we want to love.  If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love.  If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.  We must look deeply in order to see and understand the needs, aspirations, and suffering of the person we love.  This is the ground of real love.  You cannot resist loving another person when you really understand him or her.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

The More:

Take Action:  From time to time, sit close to the one you love, hold his or her hand, and ask, “Darling, do I understand you enough?  Or am I making you suffer?  Please tell me so that I can learn to love you properly.  I don’t want to make you suffer, and if I do so because of my ignorance, please tell me so that I can love you better, so that you can be happy.”  If you say this in a voice that communicates your real openness to understand, the other person may cry.  That is a good sign, because it means the door of understanding is opening and everything will be possible again.

Comment:  Do you feel that you and your partner understand each other deeply?  If so, what methods have kept the doors of understanding so open for you and your relationship?

 

When you understand, you cannot help but love.

“When you understand, you cannot help but love.  You cannot get angry.  To develop understanding, you have to practice looking at all loving beings with the eyes of compassion.  When you understand, you cannot help but love.  And when you love, you naturally act in a way that can relieve the suffering of people.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

The More:

Quote in action:  Suppose your son wakes up one morning and sees that it is already quite late.  He decides to wake up his younger sister, to give her enough time to eat breakfast before going to school.  It happens that she is grouchy and instead of saying, “Thank you for waking me up,” she says, “Shut up! Leave me alone!” and kicks him.  He will probably get angry, thinking, “I woke her up nicely.  Why did she kick me?”  He may want to go to the kitchen and tell you about it, or even kick her back.  But then he remembers that during the night his sister coughed a lot, and he realizes that she must be sick.  Maybe she behaved so meanly because she has a cold.  At that moment, he understands, and he is not angry at all anymore.

Comment:  Have you ever had a moment of understanding that dissolved all of your anger towards another person?

 

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce.  You look into the reasons it is not doing well.  It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun.  You never blame the lettuce.  Yet if we have problems with our friends or our family, we blame the other person.  But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like lettuce.  Blaming has not positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and arguments.  That is my experience.  No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding.  If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

 

So, You Want the Perfect Relationship? Brace Yourself… Because Your Dog is About to School You.

The Perfect Relationship

Imagine a perfect relationship.  You are always intensely happy with your partner because you live with the perfect woman or man for you.  How would you describe your life with this person?

Well, the way you relate with this person will be exactly the way you relate with a dog.  A dog is a dog.  It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s going to be a dog.  You are not going to change a dog for a cat or a dog for a horse; it is what it is.

Just accepting this fact in your relations with other humans is very important.  You cannot change other people.  You love them the way they are or you don’t.  You accept them the way they are or you don’t.  To try to change them to fit what you want them to be is like trying to change a dog for a cat, or a cat for a horse.  That is a fact.  They are what they are; you are what you are.  You dance or you don’t dance.  You need to be completely honest with yourself—to say what you want, and see if you are willing to dance or not.  You must understand this point, because it is very important.  When you truly understand, you are likely to see what is true about others, and not just what you want to see.

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“If we become angry at our anger, we will have two angers at the same time.  We only have to observe it with love and attention.  If we take care of our anger in this way, without trying to run away from it, it will transform itself.  This is peacemaking.  If we are peaceful in ourselves, we can make peace with our anger.  We can deal with depression, anxiety, fear, or any unpleasant feeling in the same way.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step