The following is an excerpt from The Road Less Traveled by Scott Peck.
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For true listening, no matter how brief, requires tremendous effort.
First of all, it requires total concentration. You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time. If a parent wants to truly listen to a child, the parent must put aside everything else. The time of true listening must be devoted solely to the child; it must be the child’s time. If you are not willing to put aside everything, including your own worries and preoccupations for such a time, then you are not willing to truly listen.
Second, the effort required for total concentration on the words of a six-year-old child is considerably greater than that required for listening to a great lecturer. The child’s speech patterns are uneven – occasional rushes of words interspersed with pauses and repetitions – which makes concentration difficult. Then the child will usually be talking of matters that have no inherent interest for the adult, whereas the great lecturer’s audience is specifically interested in the topic of his speech.
In other words, it is dull to listen to a six-year-old, which makes it doubly difficult to keep concentration focused. Consequently truly listening to a child of this age is a real labor of love. Without love to motivate the parent it couldn’t be done.
But why bother?
“For true listening, no matter how brief, requires tremendous effort. You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” ~ Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
Have you ever gone up to somebody important to you in your life with exciting news only to have that person disregard what you were saying and brush it off as ‘unimportant?’
It doesn’t feel good does it?
The mastery mindset for this week is that: Importance is subjective and if you want to have the best relationships, you have to learn how to extend ‘importance’ outside of your own little world.
What you feel is important might not feel all that important to another person, just like what another person feels is important might not feel all that important to you.
Why is that?
It’s because each individual decides what’s important to them (whether consciously or subconsciously) based on their unique set of life experiences, characteristics, morals, values, and priorities – all of which play a pivotal role in determining importance. Continue reading
“I remind myself every morning: Nothing I say this day will teach me anything. So, if I’m going to learn, I must do it by listening.” ~ Larry King, Talk Show Host
“Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn’t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.” ~ Hugh Elliott
“The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
“Listen if you want to be heard” ~ John Wooden
“Effective listening is more than simply avoiding the bad habit of interrupting others while they are speaking or finishing their sentences. It’s being content to listen to the entire thought of someone rather than waiting impatiently for your chance to respond.” ~ Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
“Being listened to and heard is one of the greatest desires of the human heart. And those who learn to listen are the most loved and respected.” ~ Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
“The quieter you become, the more you can hear.” ~ Ram Dass