“Closing down in the midst of pain is a denial of a man’s true nature. A superior man is free in feeling and action, even amidst great pain and hurt. If necessary, a man should live with a hurting heart rather than a closed one. He should learn to stay in the wound of pain and act with spontaneous skill and love even from that place.” ~ David Deida, The Way of the Superior Man
The Egg-Timer Technique – How to Limit the Time You Spend Experiencing Sadness, Anger, and Self-Pity.
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My parents never formally studied a word of psychology, yet they instinctively knew that if I focused too long on a negative aspect of my life, I would only make it worse. They also knew they couldn’t deny me the experiences of sadness, anger, and self-pity, because I would merely repress the feelings and express them in some destructive way later. So they came up with an ingenious solution.
If they caught me feeling sorry for myself, they would say, “Sean, if you want to feel sorry for yourself, that’s totally okay.” They would then go to the kitchen, rustle around in the pantry, and return with an egg timer and this instruction: “However, Sean, today you only get fifteen minutes. Ready? Go!” And the egg timer would click off the minutes.
“It’s no coincidence that good words make us feel good and that hurtful or angry words make us feel bad. There is a 100 percent correlation between the words we choose and how we feel.” ~ Sean Stephenson, Get Off Your “But”
“The truth is, in order to experience a feeling, you must first have a thought that produces that feeling.” ~ Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
“Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it stands than to anything on which it is poured.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi