Emotional Control

“Consciousness exists on two levels: as seeds and as manifestations of these seeds.  Suppose we have a seed of anger in us.  When conditions are favorable, that seed may manifest as a zone of energy called anger.  It is burning, and it makes us suffer a lot.  It is very difficult for us to be joyful at the moment the seed of anger manifests.  Every time a seed has an occasion to manifest itself, it produces new seeds of the same kind.  If we are angry for five minutes, new seeds of anger are produced and deposited in the soil of our unconscious mind during those five minutes.  That is why we have to be careful in selecting the kind of life we lead and the emotions we express.  When I smile, the seeds of smiling and joy have come up.  As long as they manifest, new seeds of smiling and joy are planted.  But if I don’t practice smiling for a number of years, that seed will weaken, and I may not be able to smile anymore.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

 

“If we become angry at our anger, we will have two angers at the same time.  We only have to observe it with love and attention.  If we take care of our anger in this way, without trying to run away from it, it will transform itself.  This is peacemaking.  If we are peaceful in ourselves, we can make peace with our anger.  We can deal with depression, anxiety, fear, or any unpleasant feeling in the same way.” ~ Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace is Every Step

 

A Meditation on Anger from the Dalai Lama

Meditation on Anger

The following meditation is an excerpt from the book, The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama:

Let us imagine a scenario in which someone who you know very well, someone who is close or dear to you, is in a situation in which he or she loses his or her temper.  You can imagine this occurring either in a very acrimonious relationship or in a situation in which something personally upsetting is happening.  The person is so angry that he or she has lost all his or her mental composure, creating very negative vibrations, even going to the extent of beating himself or herself up or breaking things.

Then, reflect upon the immediate effects of the person’s rage.  You’ll see a physical transformation happening to that person.  This person who you feel close to, who you like, the very sight of whom gave you pleasure in the past, now turns into this ugly person, even physically speaking.  The reason why I think you should visualize this happening to someone else is because it is easier to see the faults of others than to see your own faults.  So, using your imagination, do this meditation and visualization for a few minutes.

At the end of that visualization, analyze the situation and relate the circumstances to your own experience.  See that you yourself have been in this state many times.  Resolve that ‘I shall never let myself fall under the sway of such intense anger and hatred, because if I do that, I will be in the same position.  I will also suffer all these consequences, lose my peace of mind, lose my composure, assume this ugly physical appearance,’ and so on.  So once you make that decision, then for the last few minutes of the meditation focus your mind on that conclusion; without further analysis, simply let your mind remain on your resolution not to fall under the influence of anger and hatred.

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More:  Check out our full collection of quotes and resources from The Art of Happiness!

 

“When sadness comes, be really sad.  Don’t try to escape from it – allow it, cooperate with it.  Let it dissolve in you and you be dissolved in it.  Become one with it.  Be really sad: no resistance, no conflict and no struggle.  When happiness comes, be happy: dance and be ecstatic.  When happiness comes, don’t try to cling to it.  Don’t say that it should remain always and always; that is the way to miss it.  When sadness comes, don’t say, ‘Don’t come to me,’ or, ‘If you have come, please go soon.’ That is the way to miss it.  Don’t reject sadness and don’t cling to happiness.” ~ Osho, The Art of Living and Dying

 

“So many people feel that they have to wait for certain experiences in order to feel the emotions they desire. For instance, they don’t give themselves permission to feel loved or happy or confident unless a particular set of expectations is met. I’m here to tell you that you can feel any way you choose at any moment in time.” ~ Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within

 

“You and I must realize that the English language is filled with words that, in addition to their literal meanings, convey distinct emotional intensity. For example, if you develop a habit of saying you ‘hate’ things – you ‘hate’ your hair; you ‘hate’ your job; you ‘hate’ having to do something – do you think this raises the intensity of your negative emotional states more than if you use a phrase like ‘I prefer something else’?” ~ Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within

 

“There’s a big difference between an affirmation and a question.  When you say to yourself, “I’m happy; I’m happy; I’m happy,” this might cause you to feel happy if you produce enough emotional intensity, change your physiology and therefore your state.  But in reality, you can make affirmations all day long and not really change how you feel.  What will really change the way you feel is asking, “What am I happy about now?  What could I be happy about if I wanted to be?  How would that make me feel?”  If you keep asking questions like this, you’ll come up with real references that will make you begin to focus on reasons that do in fact exist for you to feel happy.  You’ll feel certain that you’re happy.” ~ Anthony Robbins, Awaken the Giant Within