“Simply having a phone on the table or within reach keeps the conversations shallow. None of this would be a big deal if mobile and app-based conversation were complementing rather than replacing face-to-face conversation, but that’s not the case. In fact, so many people are turning to digital to have potentially messy and emotional conversations in a less messy and emotional way. It may bring more calm to a relationship, sure, but it also strips the vulnerability and revelation that come from looking someone in the eye, seeing how your words land, seeing how their body responds, hearing the catch in their breath, understanding what is truly going on between you in a way no emoji chain or composed text could ever express. That emotional, messy, hard, exhilarating, don’t-know-what’s-coming-next space is where the moments that make life most worth living lie. Kill the space, kill the moment. Hello, tidy matrix and numbed-out life.” ~ Jonathan Fields, How To Live A Good Life
By: Gregory Stock
Book Overview: This is a book for personal growth, a tool for deepening relationships, a lively conversation starter for the family dinner table, a fun way to pass the time in the car. It poses over 300 questions that invite people to explore the most fascinating of subjects: themselves and how they really feel about the world. The Book of Questions may be the only publication that challenges―and even changes―the way you view the world, without offering a single opinion of its own.
Post(s) Inspired by this Book:
- 11 Questions from The Book of Questions that (When Answered) Will Change Your Life.
- Questions. The Ultimate Mind Hack?
“Today many people live the external life exclusively, and when the inner world erupts or stirs, they rush to a therapist or druggist for help. They try to explain profound mythic developments in the language of behavior and experience. Often they have no idea what is happening to them, because they have been so cut off from the deep self. Their own soul is so alien to them that they are unaware of what is going on outside the known realm of fact. Former methods of keeping in touch with the inner life have gone out of mode. Diaries, letters, and deep conversations help focus attention on developments and materials that lie beneath the surface. Only one hundred years ago, without benefit of typewriters and word processors, people kept elaborate, long and detailed diaries and notebooks. We seem to have left behind these methods of reflection in favor of technologies for action.” ~ Thomas Moore, Original Self
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Have you ever been in a conversation with someone who was painfully boring and seemed to drone on forever? You were probably looking at your watch, frantically trying to figure out how to get away. Obviously, there was no connection present. Moments of strong connection, in contrast, are so pleasurable that we lose all track of time.
So how do we spark connection in a conversation? We have to play Ping-Pong.
“Hi, how are you doing?”
“Good – how about you?”
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How many times do you engage in a conversation like that during a typical day? My guess is too many times.
What does an exchange like that accomplish? Not much.
Why do we default to such a superficial conversation? Because it’s safe, familiar, and comfortable.
…Or because you genuinely don’t want to have a deeper conversation with that person – which is perfectly fine – but that’s beyond the scope of this post!
This post is about strengthening the human connection and getting to know the people in our lives a little better – by re-examining the way we start and maintain conversations. Continue reading
“It’s more fun to talk with someone who doesn’t use long difficult words but rather short easy words like ‘What about lunch?’ ~ Winnie-the-Pooh