25 Relationship Quotes That Will Make It A Little Less, “Complicated.”
Being in a meaningful relationship is something we all long for. I think we all want that special somebody who can appreciate us for who we are – not how we look.
Somebody that makes us laugh and comforts us when we cry; somebody who appreciates our quirks and loves our imperfections; somebody who treats us the same whether we’re at our best or at our worst; somebody that gets us excited and somebody we find ourselves naturally drawn to; somebody that doesn’t hold us back but gets us to where we want to be quicker; somebody that we would call our best friend and lover.
Yeah, that person.
But I also think that there is far too much pressure to get into a relationship far too fast. Like being single is a bad thing? …It becomes an obsession for way too many people way too early in their lives – as if you get bonus points for getting in a relationship as early in your life as possible! My question is this: What should we really be obsessing over looking at the grand scheme of things: Getting in a relationship now and figuring out the rest later? Or figuring out the rest now and getting in a relationship when the time’s right?
I would argue the latter.
I think too many people put their focus in the wrong place. What I tend to see happen far too often is people trying really hard to get in a relationship (to the point of it being their only obsession) for the sake of being in a relationship… and one of several things tend to happen:
– They get in a relationship with somebody who is not right for them just for the sake of being in a relationship… and then have bad relationship experiences.
– They start changing who they are to become somebody they’re not in order to impress somebody they want to be with.
– They get lust confused with love and make rash decisions which end up dramatically changing their lives (i.e. having a baby).
– They get involved with somebody who is not good for them and takes them down the wrong path – deteriorating their life.
– They start to lose sight of their passions, long-term goals, and ambitions and never fulfill the true potential of what they are capable of achieving.
– They burn bridges with the people around them who they really care about by forgetting/ ignoring/ ditching them and obsessing over their relationship.
– They settle for somebody who is just an “okay” match, stay with them for a decent amount of time, realize that they’re not the best match, but end up being stuck with them because they don’t know how to get out of it or break it off – leaving them together out of fear of hurting the other person, being single again after being in a relationship for so long, or scared of what other people might think.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that relationships are bad and that you should avoid getting in them. In fact, getting into meaningful relationships is one of the (if not, the) most important and significant things that can happen to a person throughout their lifetime. Finding a person that genuinely connects with you and the entirety of who you are can be unmatched by anything else that happens to you throughout your lifetime (but that’s for you to decide)!
Below you’ll find 25 thoughts on relationships from people who have reflected deeply on the topic. Give them a read and let them stir your soul – leave any stirred up thoughts in the comment section below. Enjoy!
25) So, you want to, ‘Live happily ever after…?’
“A no-effort relationship is a doomed relationship, not a great relationship. It takes work to communicate accurately and it takes work to expose and resolve conflicting hopes and beliefs. It doesn’t mean there is no ‘they lived happily ever after,’ but it’s more like ‘they worked happily ever after.’” ~ Carol Dweck, Mindset
24) Waiting for someone to bring you flowers?
“Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” ~ Jorge Luis Borges
23) What does, “I love you” mean to you?
“When you say to a woman or a man, ‘I love you,’ you are simply saying, ‘I cannot be deceived by your body, I have seen you. Your body may become old but I have seen you, the bodiless you. I have seen your innermost core, the core that is divine.’ Liking is superficial. Love penetrates and goes to the very core of the person, touches the very soul of the person.” ~ Osho, Love, Freedom, Alonenss: The Koan of Relationships
22) Be better together.
“I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for that part of me you bring out.” ~ Roy Croft
21) Flip that ‘m’ upside-down.
“Would you not agree that relationships are built on trust? Would you not also agree that most individuals think more in terms of “me” – my wants, my needs, my rights? What would wisdom dictate – would it not direct us to focus on trust-building principles and sacrificing ‘me’ for ‘we’?” ~ Stephen Covey, The 8th Habit
20) Falling in love is not the be-all end-all.
“Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.” ~ Keanu Reeves
19) Love is not and should not ever be reserved for only one person.
“Making one person the only source of love does not work because love is in everything and everyone. When we miss that, we miss the point of life. Really.” ~ Banu Sekendur, Tiny Buddha
18) The best relationship according to the Dalai Lama:
“Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.” ~ Dalai Lama
17) Love vs Egoistic Love:
“In real love there is no relationship, because there are not two persons to be related to. In real love there is only love, a flowering, a fragrance, a melting, a merging. Only in egoistic love are there two persons, the lover and the loved. And whenever there is the lover and the loved, love disappears. Whenever there is love, the lover and the beloved both disappear into love.” ~ Osho, Love, Freedom, Alonenss: The Koan of Relationships
16) Love is as love does.
“You can say you love someone – but unless you demonstrate that love through your actions, your words become meaningless.” ~ Stephen M. R. Covey, The Speed of Trust
15) Don’t get it twisted:
“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” ~ Sam Keen
14) Don’t try and fix what isn’t broken.
“Don’t fix me; Love me for what’s broken.” ~ Seth Godin, The Icarus Deception
13) “Messed up” is beautiful.
“Despite what you may think, there’s nothing wrong with being messed up. The person who is messed up is actually the best person you can date. This person’s baggage and experience is what makes him or her beautiful. He or she can still function in society despite having seen what life is about and how ugly things can get.” ~ Gigi Engle, Elite Daily
12) Perfection is an opinion; look with deep eyes.
“The person who is perfect for you is far from perfect. That’s the way it should be. You can’t have a healthy, robust relationship with someone who has never tasted life. You can’t have a lasting love without having a past that has shaped you. You can’t handle a person who is so vacuous he came out of life unscathed. In the end, we’re all just trying to find someone as f*cked up as we are.” ~ Gigi Engle, Elite Daily
11) Seek first to understand and you will be understood.
“When you understand where people are coming from, what they are trying to say, what’s important to them, and so forth, being understood flows naturally; it falls into place with virtually no effort.” ~ Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
10) Love is – and always should be – unconditional.
“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” ~ Marilyn Monroe
9) “Needing” another person may actually serve as a form of antilove…
“Dependency may appear to be love because it is a force that causes people to fiercely attach themselves to one another. But in actuality it is not love; it is a form of antilove. It has its genesis in a parental failure to love and it perpetuates the failure. It seeks to receive rather than to give. It nourishes infantilism rather than growth. It works to trap and constrict rather than to liberate. Ultimately it destroys rather than builds relationships, and it destroys rather than builds people.” ~ Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
8) You can live without your partner – don’t be a parasite.
“When you require another individual for your survival, you are a parasite on that individual. There is no choice, no freedom involved in your relationship. It is a matter of necessity rather than love. Love is the free exercise of choice. Two people love each other only when they are quite capable of living without each other but choose to live with each other.” ~ Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
7) Focus more on giving and less on receiving and you will love more.
“As you put more emphasis on being a loving person, which is something you can control – and less emphasis on receiving love, which is something you can’t control – you’ll find that you have plenty of love in your life.” ~ Richard Carlson, Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
6) Pain is inevitable; running is optional; dealing is essential.
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” ~ Bob Marley
5) We’re all figuring it out as we go – give us a break.
“We get upset at other people because they don’t meet our ideals of how they should act. Instead, try accepting them for who they are, and recognizing that, like you, they’re imperfect and seeking happiness and struggling with finding happiness. They’re doing their best. Accept them, smile, and enjoy your time with this person.” ~ Leo Babauta, Zen Habits
4) Just because you’ve been in a relationship with another person for “x” years, doesn’t mean that you know them. Never take loved ones for granted.
“Forget relationships and learn how to relate. Once you are in a relationship you start taking each other for granted – that’s what destroys all love affairs. The woman thinks she knows the man, the man thinks he knows the woman. Nobody knows either! It is impossible to know the other, the other remains a mystery. And to take the other for granted is insulting, disrespectful. To think that you know your wife is very, very ungrateful. How can you know the woman? How can you know the man? They are processes, they are not things. The woman that you knew yesterday is not there today. So much water has gone down the Ganges; she is somebody else, totally different. Relate again, start again, don’t take it for granted. And the man that you slept with last night, look at his face again in the morning. He is no more the same person, so much has changed. So much, incalculably much has changed. That is the difference between a thing and a person. The furniture in the room is the same, but the man and the woman, they are no more the same. Explore again, start again. That’s what I mean by relating.” ~ Osho, Love, Freedom, Alonenss: The Koan of Relationships
3) As much as you might want to be loving all of the time, remember that your capacity to be loving is limited.
“My feelings of love may be unbounded, but my capacity to be loving is limited. I therefore must choose the person on whom to focus my capacity to love, toward whom to direct my will to love. True love is not a feeling by which we are overwhelmed. It is a committed, thoughtful decision.” ~ Scott Peck, The Road Less Traveled
2) Nobody can love 24 hours a day.
“People should be taught that nobody can love twenty-four hours a day; rest periods are needed. And nobody can love on order. Love is a spontaneous phenomenon. Whenever it happens, it happens, and whenever it doesn’t happen it doesn’t happen. Nothing can be done about it. If you do anything, you will create a pseudo phenomenon, an acting. Real lovers, intelligent lovers, will make each other alert to the phenomenon: ‘When I want to be alone that does not mean that I am rejecting you. In fact, it is because of your love that you have made it possible for me to be alone.’ And if your woman wants to be left alone for one night, for a few days, you will not feel hurt. You will not say that you have been rejected, that your love has not been received and welcomed. You will respect her decision to be alone for a few days. In fact, you will be happy! Your love was so much that she is feeling empty; now she needs rest to become full again. This is intelligence.” ~ Osho, Love, Freedom, Alonenss: The Koan of Relationships
1) The honeymoon should never end…
“Remain continuously on a honeymoon. Go on searching and seeking each other, finding new ways of loving each other, finding new ways of being with each other. And each person is such an infinite mystery, inexhaustible, unfathomable, that it is not possible that you can ever say, ‘I have known her,’ or, ‘I have known him.’ At the most you can say, ‘I have tried my best, but the mystery remains a mystery.’ In fact the more you know, the more mysterious the other becomes. Then love is a constant adventure.” ~ Osho, Love, Freedom, Alonenss: The Koan of Relationships
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Read: Love, Freedom, Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships by Osho
Watch: I Guess You’ll Do on YouTube – A comical, cynical cartoon about marriage.